Empath Journey: Entry 000
Hello, my star flowers!
I’ve thought long and hard about what to do with this blog. My last one, before I accidentally deleted it (please don’t ask sobs), was full of tarot storytelling. I still really do enjoy telling stories using my tarot cards, but I also want to make this blog more personal. I want to write about my mundane moments as well as my magical ones. I love sharing with you guys not just through the good times but the difficult ones as well. It has been a long time since I’ve kept a public blog about my day to day activities since my mom passed away. Most of my writings involved me going with mom to the doctors, reporting back on her health status, and also the fun things I got to do at work.
It seems like forever since those times and I’ve gone through so many changes. It has been a roller coaster of emotions in which I’ve kept mostly to myself. I have realized that sharing my emotions with others is not a bad thing.
Last week, I got two new tarot decks, one of them was the Mermaid Tarot. Today was a particularly difficult day so I decided to pull some cards before bed.
My current day job is far from my favorite and there are so many ongoing complications. I woke up at 5:30am today, praying that the day won’t be so bad and the environment not be so hectic. Well, it was really rough. Cool thing though? I’m still around to talk about it and try again tomorrow.
The cards I pulled tonight really remind me of how my day started and slowly cascaded into a rather annoying anxiety filled episode. In the Page of Swords, the mermaid is looking at the sword with curiosity, much like a student. She holds the sword in her hand with pure intent to learn and grow. Her thoughts seem to be filled with the focus she needs for the day, even if the 10 of wands and 8 of swords might show otherwise.
In the 10 of wands, I see the mermaid carrying those sticks, the burden on her shoulders. The heat in the card, surrounding her, reminds me of the struggle I felt with the way my work environment felt. As an empath, I still can’t help but open my channels to letting people in when they’re in full on distress. That was my mistake, I feel. I have fallen in these toxic patterns one too many times. I feel so much the other person’s pain that I become target to their anger. I am still trying to understand why that is…
Of course, in the other card, the 8 of swords, the mermaid is blindfolded and tied up, but still holds a dagger in her mouth. I have a strong appreciation for this card and resonate with the 8 of swords so much.
It is easy to fall victim and feel the victim in a situation, allowing yourself to let that mentality grow on you, but you have the ability of stepping out of the victim mentality. Some might see the card and say, she is trapped, she can’t get out. Nope. One holds the ability of getting out of any situation, to the best of their ability. In my case, for example, I can allow myself to carry the burdens of others, or I can stand tall, cut my way through my bindings, and free myself. Enjoy the truth I hold in the sword, to cut through anything that doesn’t service me, which takes me back to the Page of Swords.
Today, like any other day, was a lesson. Yes, it hurt and I wanted to cry, but I kept going. Every day, I know I will become stronger, and I will learn to control others strong emotions. I will only take in what services me for the highest good. Today was just another step forward to strengthening my inner knowing and being able to express myself better than yesterday.
Thanks for reading through this Empath Journey entry. I do intend to post some Tarot Storytelling and other tarot goodies very soon!
Be true, be kind and share the love and light.
xoxo,
Lucy