Blog Entry: Two minutes till September 2nd
It has been a long time since I have written anything on my blog. I would like to change that. I would like to write about my day, even a little. No one ever truly knows how much one’s babble can be just what another person needs. So, here I am, babbler extraordinaire!
Well, it’s now midnight, my promise to post every day has already been compromised. 😂
I am trying to find myself and post more often online like I used to. Ever since July, even my birthday last June, I have been feeling quite depressed, more anxious than usual. The world is changing every day, my world is changing every day. Not a day passes where I don’t learn about something new or rekindle my love, even dislike, of something in my life.
Today, or rather the first of September was a ride into some sort of conformed normalcy. I have been having issues with family for as long as I can remember, even as a young girl. These days, I have been trying, a bit relentlessly, to keep going about my goals. My intent slowed down which I feel might be connected to my manifestations seeming farther and farther away.
Ironically, the day I don’t even think about anything in particular, just work, work, work, something clicks. I did what I have been too afraid to do for quite some time. Trusting others has been a real big issue for me since mom passed away. Mom was my world, my everything, even in death I still think about her every single day. People I care about deeply, I feel I have lost touch with. I feel I am a completely different person, not to my liking for the most part, but still I keep trying to be optimistic to the best of my ability.
Spending time with a person, when it’s not forced is probably the solution to most bonding sessions. I wasn’t even thinking about bonding or anything of the sort, I simply wanted to let this person know I was there. I am always quiet these days, not wanting to express how I feel, because for the most part I feel it is useless, a waste of my time. Well, the Universe cut me some slack today.
I do not regret spending time with this person, listening to them, keeping my thoughts to myself for the most part. We all need someone to vent to. I sometimes become sad because I don’t feel I can openly tell anyone what I am thinking or feeling. Things certainly have changed.
Still, it is now midnight, 12:12am to be exact and I should organize myself to have a nice shower.
Be true to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stay bright and love deeply, always.
All my love,
Lucy 🦋